The Wind beneath My Wings

 

My first memory of Ajinkya is that of a tall, lanky, curly haired boy, wearing a chain with a big Aum locket, when he was called out by our Math Professor in our first year of college. Next time was at an Art Exhibition in college where he had oil paintings on display and the third time was during our Statistics practicals when he came and sat next to me and asked for help. This raised quite a few eyebrows as ours was a conservative college where girls and boys sat separately and we had a separate entrance and a separate canteen for girls. From then on we kept meeting and interacting, but it was mostly always in a group. He would sometimes drop me home in his car. I never thought much about it. The first inkling I had that maybe something was different was when he came to pick my friends and me for an inter-collegiate event and presented only me with a rose. My NCC friends started teasing me about him saying that he had fallen for me and I would always brush them off. Till once, when instead of dropping me home he took me to Juhu beach. I was so apprehensive about what he was going to say, that I told him not to say anything. However, being the person he is, he proposed to me. I was so overwhelmed that I burst into tears. Poor guy, did not know what to do or say. He dropped me home saying that I need not reply immediately. For the next few days he would walk me home every day and kept pestering me for a positive reply even though I told him that we were too young and we should wait for some years before making any commitments. Till finally, one day as we were walking on the road he told me that this was it, if I did not want to commit then this was our last meeting and I would not see him again. As he started walking away, the thought of not meeting him again, or not speaking to him was too much for me to handle and I said yes. He was so thrilled and happy that he walked all the way from Irla to his home in Santacruz.

After graduation, Ajinkya wanted to go to the US to do his Masters in Computer Science and while he was waiting for his papers, he acted in a few films and even got the State award for his debut film Ardhangi. His parents hoped that he would drop the idea of going to the US, but when he got his visa, they panicked. They were worried that he might not come back, or find a firang girl, so they insisted that we get married before he left and that made my mother happy too. We got married on 24th of December 1986; we were both just 22 years old. Therefore, we practically grew up together and metamorphosed into each other. Our personalities quite literally got interchanged.

During college days, especially junior college, I was the gregarious extrovert, who took part in all the college activities, be it NCC, debates, intercollegiate competitions, or acting on the stage, and Ajinkya was the back bencher who never took part in any activities and hardly ever spoke in class. But look at him now!! He can hold his own in front of anyone, speak on practically any topic and he doesn’t hesitate to hold the mike, speak extempore and can enthrall an audience of a thousand or more. He is extremely sharp and quick- witted. Though he still does not like to party much, when he does, he is the life of the party.

Everybody knows about his acting prowess and what a towering personality he has with a deep baritone voice to match. However, what few people know is that under those broad shoulders and tough exterior, he is all mush. He has a heart of gold. He cannot bear to see pain and suffering. I still remember my mother’s expression and tone when she narrated an incident about Ajinkya to me. I was in the nursing home where I had just delivered my first born, Arya. One day, Ajinkya walked into the hospital, all flustered and worried. He had just seen a couple get into an auto rickshaw hurriedly with a tiny newborn baby. When he came to know that they had taken the baby to a NICU because of some complications, he was so upset that he had not reached a little earlier because then he could have taken them in his car and they would not have to travel in an auto in the heat and dust with the new-born. My mother was so overwhelmed and became his fan for life.

He is extremely fond of animals too and has always had a pet. We had a parrot that would come out of its cage and sit on Ajinkya’s hand and shoulder but it would peck anybody else who tried to touch it. Now we have a Labrador, Kibo, and Ajinkya always makes sure that he has eaten on time. So much so, that if there is even a slight delay, he makes Kibo’s food himself and feeds him. One particular incident I can never forget is when we had gone to Alibag for a weekend. Ajinkya was driving, and he suddenly swerved the car to avoid a cat that had been hit by a car and was lying dead on the road. Ajinkya stopped the car, and before we even realized what was happening, he got out, picked up the dead cat and laid it by the side of the road so that other cars should not run over it. He did not think twice before doing so.

Ajinkya looks like his father, but being the first-born, he shared a special bond with his mother. He loves his family (immediate and extended) to distraction. We just have to say something, and he will get it done. He is always thinking about our comfort and how to make things better for us. His children are his Achilles heel.

He is fiercely protective about his daughter and is ready to take her anywhere on the back of this earth in spite of the fact that she has special needs. I remember when she was two years old, we had gone on a trip to Scotland and he had climbed up the mountains with Tanaya on his shoulders. It was a very challenging feat because Tanaya could not hold herself up at that time.

Ajinkya believes that God has given him his broad built in order to shoulder all the responsibilities of the world. He feels that it is his duty to take care of all the problems that anyone around him has. He is the “go to” person when anyone has any problem, be it friend or family, he is always there for everyone.

Ajinkya never liked the idea of me working under someone so in spite of having done MBA from Mumbai University, I stayed at home in the initial period after our marriage. Then I slowly started helping out with our home production and became a part of all the discussions, be it creative or otherwise. Everything changed once our daughter was born. My world pretty much started revolving around her and when she started going to a special school, he encouraged me to step out of the house and look for a job. So, in 2001, I started working part time at my alma mater, NMIMS. Since then, he has supported me in every-which-way possible.

He trusts me implicitly with our daughter’s line of treatment. He provided for all the therapies and modalities I wanted to try, whether it was visiting a chiropractor in Australia or the Brainwave Center in the UK or Anat Baniel in San Francisco. The most difficult one was the home program of the Institutes for Achievement of Human Potential in the US. Their requirement was that both parents attend a 5 days course on “What to do about your brain-injured child” before they would give an appointment to see the child. I don’t think Ajinkya had ever attended a full day of classes in his life. But to Ajinkya’s credit, he sat through those 5 days of lectures, from 9:00 AM to 7:00 PM. That was the first time our daughter stayed without us, in Toronto with my brother. Ajinkya drove eight hours non-stop from Toronto to Philadelphia. In that first visit, we made four such trips, and never once did he complain. Then we would go every six to eight months to the Institutes for a follow-up and every time Ajinkya would have to attend 2 days of lectures. That was a tough period for all of us.

He encouraged me to start a school for children with special needs. When he realized that I was not really getting anywhere and was ready to give up on the idea, he stepped in and got me the place and the finances required to set up the school. When I hesitantly broached the topic of training to become an Anat Baniel Method NeuroMovement Practitioner, he supported me wholeheartedly. Not only did he fund my entire training and all my trips to the US, he made sure he was there at home for Tanaya during that time.

Ajinkya loves cycling and running. The thought that he has to be there for his daughter always spurs him on to keep fit. As a result, today, on his 60^th birthday, he does not look a day over 50. The only remorse as we celebrate his 60^th birthday is that both his parents and my mother are not there with us now. Nevertheless, I am sure they are looking down at him with love and affection and their blessings will always be there with him.

Whenever we go anywhere in Maharashtra, out of Mumbai, he is always surrounded by fans wanting to take photographs and shake his hand. I was happy to see the same happening down South in Coorg, and up North in Varanasi, Amritsar and even the Wagah border!! Ajinkya is blessed to have such a strong fan following and I pray and hope that they continue to shower him with their love and blessings always. And I am blessed to have him as my life partner.

Happy birthday Ajinkya!

Arti Deo

Anat Baniel Method NeuroMovement (ABMNM) Practitioner

Founder & Director, Academy for Learning and Development, school for children with special needs.

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