Happy 60th birthday Tai!

 

The youngest looking, and the youngest Aaji at heart, so much so, that even her granddaughter Anishka calls her Aai and refuses to call her Aaji. At a very early age she took on the responsibility of the house, cooking, cleaning, doing whatever was necessary. A first-class student through-out, she never brought up the subject of doing post-graduation (she did not want to burden my mother with the financial strain it would cause) but chose to take up a job as soon as she finished her final year exams and help support the family. Eventually, she did study law, but that was along with her job.

She has had an illustrious career, starting in a small private firm, even before she completed her graduation, moving on to the legal department at Saraswat Bank, SBI Caps, Société Générale and so on. She retired as the Associate Director, Administration at Cognizant Technology Solutions India Pvt. Ltd. where she was managing facilities totalling more than 5 lacs square feet, with more than 5000 people working there.

Tai (Rucha Ambekar) is tall, fair and slim, with thick, long hair, and always, impeccably turned out. She is as comfortable in jeans as she is in her neatly pleated and pinned sarees. She can carry off any dress beautifully. I remember Aai (my mother) always saying that if you don’t like a particular saree you should give it to Tai to wear. Then you will start liking it because everything looks good on her. She is a very industrious person, extremely efficient and diligent. And it is not all work for her; all these years, along with her very demanding job, she always found time to play badminton, cards on weekends, do yoga regularly, and she loves travelling.

If ever there is a person who knows the value of money, it is our Tai. It’s not that she is frugal (she is known for her shopping sprees), she just spends it wisely. Our first television set was bought out of her salary. I remember, when she was in junior college, her uniform was grey pants and white shirt and she had two sets of uniforms that she wore on alternate days. One day her shirt got stuck in something and tore but she never told Aai about it. She would just wash the other shirt every evening and wear the same shirt every day to school, till one day Aai realised it.

When we were small, we used to always be twinning. We had the same dresses. It helped us fool people while playing ‘Dabba Aais Pais’. Another funny incident I remember is when Aai cut her hair short. Tai always had long, thick, curly hair. It was very difficult to manage, especially when it got infested with lice. So Aai took her for a haircut and made it really short. Tai was so upset, she cried her heart out, not just then, but for the next few days whenever she would see herself in the mirror she would burst into tears.

A difference of two and a half years between the two of us was hardly anything really but Tai was always the big sister. She would never include me with her friends. Their sisters would accompany them, but not me. I remember, we hardly ever agreed on anything. I used to love to listen to the radio and she would make me turn it off. Whenever I switched on the radio she would immediately remove her books and start studying, so I had to switch off the radio. We used to fight like cats and dogs, till the day she got married. And then everything changed.

The practical, no-nonsense, with her head firmly planted on her shoulders Tai that we all know, is a front for the deeply caring person that she is. She maintains a good relationship with everyone, whether it is family or friends. No matter how busy her schedule is and how many things demand her attention she will always find time to do Sudha maushi’s bank work, Asha attya’s paper work, visit Prabha maushi and help others in whatever way she can. It is not an effort for her. She is still connected with her school friends and college friends, she remained in touch with them even before the days of WhatsApp and FB.

Everybody in the family jokes about her temper and her sharp tongue; we all wondered how she would get along with her daughter-in-law, but she transitioned just beautifully into that role. So much so, she is an example to all of us. Her sons, Rounak and Rutvik never cease to complain about how strict she was with them, or how much she pushed them, but that is largely the reason for them turning out to be such fine young men today.

No one can argue with her logic and reasoning, she is always firm on her views. I remember when we started Ambekar & Deo, Aai was in Dubai with Dada and when she came to know about the partnership she didn’t approve and was very upset. I told Aai not to worry as we all know how fair and trustworthy Tai is. We trust her completely with our finances.

She can be very irritable and short tempered when people don’t see her point of view or fail to understand what she considers to be common sense. Though she may appear to be unemotional and heartless at times, one has to just look at her relationship with Anishka to understand how false it is. Here we have Anishka telling her mamma that she can go and stay with her mamma as long as she lets her stay with her Aai.

She is always there, whether I am getting operated, or Ajinkya meets with an accident, she is always there. She takes charge wherever she goes, and always leads by example.

Even today, Ajinkya still complains that I have not grown up, and still remain the little sister looking to Tai for advice all the time.

Arti Deo

Director, Academy of Learning and Development, School for children with Special Needs.

www.aldindia.org

Anat Baniel Method NeuroMovement (ABMNM) Practitioner